Preparing for Marriage: What to Look for in a Husband

Earlier this evening, my niece sent me a message asking me what the steps to marriage are at napabulalas ako ng "huwaaat? Mag-aasawa ka na?" Of course, I was kidding. It was part of her homework for school. She's only 15 and I pray that she doesn't ask me this question until she's in her 20s. ^^ Ok so back to the question, I immediately replied with "are you referring to legal requirements? Google it." (Oh my, what dependency to Google.) Then she clarified saying that the question refers to the qualities that Roy and I were looking for before we decided to get married.


This caused a short discussion between me and Roy when I raised the question.
We found it unnecessary to have a checklist. We agreed that getting into marriage isn't about having a list of qualities to look for. It's about preparing for it as an individual and attracting someone along the way because of the person you've become. And when it's the right time, with purpose and without much struggle (I've yet to write about this), marriage will seamlessly find its way into the relationship.

So, it didn't come as a surprise that we had one answer.

I then replied to my niece:
Sa totoo lang, wala kaming hinanap na katangian. Dahil yang mga may listahan, hindi nakakapag-asawa. We focused on preparing ourselves to be the right person when someone comes along. Gets? We became who we wanted to be as a partner.
That was what happened to us when we met. I was dating around, not exactly looking for a husband but in my heart yearning for someone whom I can be myself with. But heck, I was lost, not even being clear kung sino ba yung "myself" na gusto kong ipakita. There was no list of qualities. None at all. Even the popular "sense of humor" is relative. Everybody may have it but delivery to a certain crowd is an equally important part of the equation. Nagkataon lang that we were exposed to familiar patterns so the jokes qualified as jokes. Whatever my situation was at that time, happy was my default mode. Meanwhile, Roy was set for a life of being single, pursuing his big dreams and ready to explore his adventures alone. He wasn't looking for a wife. Getting married wasn't even part of his plans anymore. If I may say, he was happy being alone.


E ang ganda ko. Bwahahaha! Blog ko 'to, bakit ba?

Kidding aside, everything just fell into place because we were the right people, in the right place, at the right time. We could've met years earlier or years later and things would've been totally different. I even told him the likelihood of us not even ending up together given a different set of circumstances.

We're just 4 years into our marriage. There are still adjustments and I think it'll never end. There were no qualities to look for from the very beginning. Now, we are just committed to embrace the "adjustment." We vowed to get to know each other everyday which is precisely the beauty of a relationship that you want to nurture. It only gets boring when you both stop learning and discovering with and about your partner.

From that simple question, I decided to make an essay through this blog.
Too bad it was an enumeration question.
For the subject Filipino.
Sakit sa bangs 'no?

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